You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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