What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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