my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
