I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
