Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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