Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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