At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
