I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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