i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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