Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
