remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
