brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
