So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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