So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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