Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
