I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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