You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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