Umm I'm too high to move.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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