I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
