i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
