i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Randomize