on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
