The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
