Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
