Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
