i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
