This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
