Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
