I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
