Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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