i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Soap is not a condiment
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
