i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
