How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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