All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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