Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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