Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize