Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
