Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize