Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just invented taco cereal.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
