my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize