Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
