Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
