Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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