I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize