this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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