the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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