I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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