I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
