i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
