You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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