By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
