no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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