i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at about main and main street
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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