The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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