Ambien. No doubt about it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
