we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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