were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
