Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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