They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
