I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
