I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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