A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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