you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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