My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
