New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
