Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
