I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
