so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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