i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
handjob tips. give me some.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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