I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
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