She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
