The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
